Keeping Faith In The Chaos

There are times when life is going well, great... it's as smooth as a calm lake. 

Everything is perfect. It couldn't get any better, and then there are times like these... 

We had been trying to adopt a baby and found out that the young lady that was pregnant decided she didn't want to be pregnant anymore so she got an abortion.  We were all heart broken. We prayed for this young lady and her child and they were like family in our hearts.  The abortion went badly and the girl had to be rushed to the hospital for surgery.  They said she would never have children again.  Our hearts broke for her and the baby.

Weeks later a friend called us with another woman that was pregnant and needing a loving family for the baby.  Needless to say, it was a bad situation and she was forced into an abortion.

Mr. and Mrs. Cottage was driving to take Grandma Cottage to a doctor's appointment and we were hit by a lady as we sat at a red light. She never even slowed down.  We had decided at the last minute not to go with them and if we would have gone we would have been hurt very badly. Grandma broke her back and Mrs. Cottage hurt her hip, shoulder and got really bad whiplash. Months of physical therapy and pain. 

We were expecting a lot of company, so we decided to buy new furniture for our livingroom.  The next night we woke up to the sound of water dripping. With further investigations, we found that one of the upstairs toilets had overflown in the night and water was pouring out of the fan/light fixture in the living room ceiling all over the brand new coffee table.  The end result was the bathroom, shower, and spare bathroom flooring, the ceiling in the living room ceiling and flooring all had to be replaced. 

A couple days later we also had to rip the drywall out on one wall in the living room because a pipe burst. 

The house sounded like a massive plane was parked in the living room which kind of looked like a lab from a SciFi movie or a crime scene. Big sheets of plastic cover every entrance and in the center of the room, huge dehumidifiers hummed like engines on a plane. It was miserable!!! especially when the AC went out leaving us in the heat of sweltering southern summer.  It was over 100 degrees F. by day and the machines put off more heat.  Becuase of the AC and the noise we were all piled into one room all day for a week... 7 days have never stretched longer than that week. 

Five out of seven days a week Mrs. Cottage and Grandma had to go to physical therapy. The only nice part of this was the building (and car) had AC. 

There were days I just laid on the pallet on the floor and cried begging for it please stop as I listened to worship music. And like a wave, it finally let us come up for a breath. And I found my faith had never been stronger.  

It was so hard on my faith. We were walking with God and living for him and things just kept going wrong. Mom (Mrs. Cottage) knew how important it was that we hang onto our faith and she had us write messages of faith and bible verses on the 2x4s that made up our home. Our walls and ceiling were covered in words of faith and protection.  If nothing more than to remind us of our faith and reinforce that in our own hearts. 

Today On Your Birthday Grandma We Remember You

 The house is still...  a piano plays softly on the radio. 

Ice and snow cover the ground outside. 

Lunch is finished and the dishes sit in the dish strainer. 

It's just another day... 

Its just another day, but its not just another day. It's your birthday! 

How do you wish someone a "Happy Birthday" in a place where there is no sadness? Memories slip through my mind... you are in them all. 

Decorating the tree, birthdays, Easter, 4th Of July, Ballet class, Thanksgiving, Choir performances, Church, New Years, Sledding, BBQ's, horse competition two summers ago, Bonfires with friends as you watched over us, swimming in the pool as you sat on the porch to make sure we were ok, gardening, holding baby animals that I brought home, chickens, turkeys, quail, rabbits, a puppy, a cat. Making cookies with you. car rides and musicals. So many good times... and you are there in every one.

Happy Birthday Grandma Cottage. 

Waiting To Exhale

It feels like I have been holding my breath for so long...

Like I have been trapped in never ending waves. Crashing... Crushing... Bending... Drowning...

My lungs burn... It's been a long year, a long couple of years. So many bad memories. So many bad days.

My feet touch the sand and it feels like a weight slightly lifts from my chest. The sunshine warms my skin, the breeze tugs my hair free from its braid. The waves wash across the sand wetting my feet and dragging the pain back as it recedes again.

My finger slips through the sand, a name, a year. A wave rolls in white and blue... erasing it like a canvas. With each new word the weight lifts a little more. Until finally I can let out my breath. I draw another one in and exhale...

The cold water chills my feet a little as I walk a long the water line picking up small bits of shell. All broken in someway or another but all beautiful.

Small chips of blue, larger pieces of white shells a few rose color pieces, a see-through piece, a larger gray one. My hand fills with them. The broken places worn smooth by the sand and the wave. They remind me of people... battered, broken, Holes where life was rough and ripped holes in our hearts. Do they realize how beautiful their brokenness is? I hold one up to the light and the sunlight pour though the holes and chipped areas... Do they know that? Do we know that? That through the broken places in us His light pours through. Shells are beautiful whole... but I think they are even more beautiful broken...

The Quilt Holes

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that was our life.

But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in everyday life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. 

I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. 

My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. 

Finally, the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose, each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me and nodded for me to rise. 

My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me. 

And now, I had to face the truth: My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. 

I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. 

Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image: the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. 

"Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through until there was more of Me than there was of you." 

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!

(Couldn't find the author but if this work is yours please let me know and I will give credit where credit is due)

Remembering Them...Infant / Child Loss Remembrance

 I'm not really sure how to write this post. My mom said to share my heart so here goes... today is pregnancy and infant loss day. Today we remember all the little ones gone to soon and pray for the families who have lost their precious bundle of joy. Some of us will be lighting candles tonight in a "Wave of light" at 7 PM. Other I'm sure will be doing other things.

Its cold here, I can hear the rain pinging against the top of the chimney. Ping. Ping Ping. It's a lonely sound. Christmas carols play softly from the kitchen. Yes it's early for it. But I'm just in the mood for it tonight, a group of geese fly over- I know because I can hear them honking as they fly toward the lake. Its almost dark now. There are eleven in our family we will be remembering tonight. Eleven of my siblings, a few cousin's babies, my dad's navy friend's child, a friends nephew, a friends... so many.

My heart breaks for each one. Each family.  7 O'clock...

We pray for you as you continue you on.

Leave your loved ones name in the comments below and we will remember them too. 

As we do Lucy Marie, Tjaden Eli, Brendan, Carter Lee...

When You Feel Like Saying "When" - Dancing In The Rain

Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance with Him in the rain.

A few years ago my sister woke up on the couch to the sound of water dripping. Further investigation revealed that one of the second story toilets had overflown and was now dripping through the living room ceiling all over our new living room furniture. That night the house sounded like a large plane was parked in the living room and yet another one was in the upstairs bathrooms. On top of this our air conditioner was out and the days were in the low hundreds, so everyone was camping out in the master bedroom. It was loud, it was hot and it was crowded. For a couple of months it felt like just everything that could possibly go wrong had gone wrong.

My parents and grandmother, we're in a car accident.

One thing after the next after the next went wrong.

I remember laying on the twin size mattress on the floor, exhausted- spiritually and mentally. All I wanted to do was curl in a ball and sleep (but it was way too hot and loud to sleep). It pushed me to the point that all I could pray was please just make it stop! We had a small radio sitting on the floor in the corner so we could listen to music while we did school. It was set on a Christian music channel and this one song by Mandisa kept coming on. Part of the lyrics go something like this

"You got to hang on just a little bit longer, the pain isn't going to last forever, it's only going to make you stronger...". 

I learned through that whole experience that He teaches us through the pain and the suffering. He gives us more that we can handle over and over so that he can grow us. After all of that, I realized that I was closer to Him than ever before.

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33

This year at the minimum has been ok, at the worst its been a nightmare. If you knew me really well you would realize very quickly that I like knowing every detail before I get into a situation. I don't really care for surprises (not even the good ones) they make me nervous. You could probably say that I like being in control, but which one of us doesn't? From my grandmothers health issues to having to put my dog down. Its been stressful. Its been filled with many tears and "Why's". I'm like a small child asking an adult why the color red is red. Or why they have to go to bed.  But I'm learning as our family faces more trials, that I don't have to see the entire staircase I just need to see the step in front of me.

I'm getting better at giving it over to Him and being satisfied with just letting him take care of it while I follow in His footsteps. What ever he wants to happen is going to happen, and as big as I think my will is it is nothing compared to His. I may not understand why my dog had to get Kidney Failure, or why we had to put him to sleep three days after finding out. Or why I have eleven siblings in heaven. Or why innocent people have to get hurt. Or why this summer turned out the way it did, Or why my Grandmother is having mini strokes and the doctors don't know how to stop it. Or why or neighbors have to be jerks. But that's OK. Someday I will and will all make since.

In church Sunday the pastor was telling a story of a man who went to heaven and he saw his whole life mapped out in foot prints.

In the beginning his foot prints went in all different directions, then he saw two sets of foot prints, one really really big and the other tiny in comparison. Slowly the foot prints began to follow the second, sure they were spots where they would veer off in another direction for a time and then they would come back to the large ones. In some places deep ruts marred the sand. Then as time went by they straightened so that the matched the others and grew closer until the smaller ones appeared inside of the larger ones so that only one set formed across the sand. And the smaller ones began to grow and fill the larger ones.
Then much to the mans distress, two sets appeared again, but they weren't straight like before. They were strewn haphazardly across the sand like in the beginning. The man turned to God and said "I understand part of it. In the beginning where the foot prints are in all different directions is before I knew you. Then as I accepted you into my heart my foot steps began to straighten, but still there were times when I chased other things. The deep ruts are where I stumbled. But as time passed I began to become more like you and our  foot prints began to come closer as I began to walk closer to you, until finally my foot prints were on top of yours..."
"That's correct," God replied. "But what happened there where the foot prints are in all directions? Did I walk away? Did I stumble? What did I do?" And God replied "No, you didn't fall, or stumble, or walk away. That's where we danced,"

I think life is about learning to dance in the rain so that when the sun comes out it will be even more beautiful. It's easy to praise God in the sunshine, but its hard to when the rain is pouring down and your heart is breaking.

When You Feel Like Saying "When" - Prepare To Stop

 I was 16.

 I ran a stop sign - on purpose.

The chain of events leading up to this caused me to want so badly to end it all. There were actually so many events that had gone on in my life by the age of 14, that it was really the cherry on top.

 I found out I was pregnant. That to me was a blessing.

Five months along we found out that it was a boy and he had a genetic disorder called Trisomy 18. It was a horrible diagnosis. The life expectancy was a year…If that. His organs were all over the place, and he was not doing well. They wanted me to abort. Imagine that! I wanted to give him a fighting chance.

 I felt him kick a lot. Played music for him, and read to him in my belly. I cherished every moment I had with him inside of me. I forgot the rest of the world spinning around me and just lived for him.

I grew up a lot in those months.

Nine months along... he stopped kicking - for good. We went to the doctor and they told us that he had passed away. I was crushed. Even though they try to prepare you for this, nothing ever does. I gave birth to my stillborn baby Brenden after 31 hours of labor. I did not hold him. I was so upset and so young. I didn't know the effects that would have on me...  For the rest of my life I've regretted it.

His birthday was December 3rd. I picked out a tiny white casket, made funeral arrangements and buried him December 7th 2014. The two years of my life after that was a destructive blur. I didn't care about my life. I wanted to end it. I remember asking Tracy, my longtime family friend / second mom for guidance. She said to pray. Pray hard. A month or so after talking to her, I was driving by myself. I had no one. I felt as if no one loved me. I felt that my baby died because of me... but in fact there was nothing I could have done to prevent it.

 I ran that stop sign and almost got hit. I pulled over. Started praying, asking God to forgive me for turning away from him during the darkest time of my life... I cried and cried. I probably looked crazy to someone driving by me. All I remember after this breakdown saying that I had had enough.

I felt this weight come off my shoulders and knew I needed to start living the life my baby would never have. For all I knew he could be walking with God, watching my actions and I realized I had to stop. That was the end of it. Right then and there. Every decision I made from then on out, was a positive one. I know that if I didn't go through that I wouldn't be who I am today. With the values and my strong relationship with God. I knew my life would be better. Sorry for rambling, but that was my “when” saying “enough is enough”.

My name is Jody Ann Garber. I am 35. I have 5 kids 4 of them are on earth 1 in heaven. Ages from 14 to 2. I live in eastern Pennsylvania with my husband of 4 years. I also am a work at home mom with an amazing company called Itworks Global. We specialize in health and wellness products. I'll include my link in case anyone reading this needs help getting into better health.

Jody would love to connect with you at Cajunbeachwrappers.com

When You Feel Like Saying "When" - For Everything There Is A Season

When -noun (a question or declaration as to a time of some occurrence)

 
Lord, when will this be over? How much longer Lord? Oh my gosh! If I had a dollar for every time I've asked Him that question, I could have paid cash for my car! I really thought this was going to be easy. My testimony is filled with some really horrible, desperate things so I thought sharing one of them with the world would be a simple thing. It hasn't. I've hit the delete button more times than I can count. 

Jesus has always walked with me but I've only walked with Him 15 years.  I used to cry out "why" more than "when".  When only came after learning to worship the Lord with my sorrow, knowing that He would make something beautiful out of it! I've walked through the horrors of rape, abortion and suicide attempts. I've struggled with poverty, homelessness, and being a single parent. Nothing in my life has broken my heart as deeply as my family has. My family is a puzzle in a box. None of the pieces are put together. I can put two or three of the pieces together for a short time but they soon are pulled apart. It's tragic, ugly and very, very heartbreaking! I've never known what it's like to have a normal family.  When you walk with the Lord, you learn that life is full of seasons...good ones, bad ones, long ones, short ones. I'll be 53 this October. This season with my family is one I've been walking in all my life.  

"When" has been mostly Psalms 13 to me for many years. "How long oh Lord will you forget me?" When will this be over Lord? When will my son come back? When will my family be whole again? Now, more than ever, "When" has become Psalms 126. It is a thanksgiving for restoration. When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”  The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
 
Seasons come but they also go. Seasons end. God turns them around. I declare salvation, reconciliation, and restoration for my family! Thank you Lord!

Linda lives in Columbia TN with Norman and BJ, her faithful furry babies. She is mom to her son, Jaymz, and Nani to her grandlovies Toby, Charlie and Skylar.

When You Feel Like Saying "When" - Jesus Take The Wheel

I've been struggling to write my little blog post. Not that I can't write. I have millions of ideas running around in my head. Mostly at one in the morning! As my Dad refers to it, it's my "head squeezing time". I have always found the early morning hours are the best ones for remembering that I didn't sign a permission slip. Or wondering if I locked all the doors after my late night swim. Do my cats have water? So these past few days, my head squeezing time has been about a time that I have said "when" and God has brought me through. Honestly, there are so many I can't even begin to pin point one specific incident. By nature I'm not a worrier. I am fortunate that not much really drops me into the depths. Yes, I have been through heartache and traumatic events. I have lost people I have loved. But through it all God has remained at my side, steadying me like a mother steady's a toddling baby.

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me; You will stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand will save me" Psalm 138:7

So, I chose one of the latest things God has brought me through. My husband and kids and I have lived in our apartment for 20 years. A few months after we moved in I quit my job. The owner of the building came to me and asked me if I had ever thought about managing an apartment building, to which I replied "no!". She suggested I try it and long story very short, I had been doing it ever since. Fast forward to April of last year. The owner informed me she was thinking of selling the building. So many things ran through my head, mostly at one in the morning! Would I continue on as the manager? What would these new people be like to work for? Oh my gosh, what if they didn't keep me on? Would they allow us to rent our apartment? How much rent would they charge us? Where would I work? How would I be able to have a job and still take my 13 year old to school and pick him up? How much would child care be if I had to use it?

My head squeezing time was pretty bad at this point. 

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me; You will stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand will save me" Psalm 138:7 

After a few days of fervent prayer and freaking out a bit, I'm so glad my Jesus loves me and is patient with me.

 "The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble and he knows those who trust him" Nahum 1:7

Finally I had a sense of peace. Not complete peace mind you, I am human. However I knew it would be okay and that it would have NOTHING to do with my meager attempts at making everything right!! As it turned out, the building sold and the new owner brought in his management company, who in turn brought in their own managers. We were allowed to stay and pay rent. That was a whole new freak out moment! I hadn't paid rent in 20 years!

My Dad had been asking me if I would come and work a few days a week in his office and I had hemmed and hawed. Now he offered me full time work and the ability to take care of my 13 year old at the same time. He owns his own tax firm and is an Enrolled Agent with the IRS. Those of you that know me, know that for me this would seem crazy! I have never been a math gal. I majored in English in college, minored in music. I am creative!! I sing, I write, I paint, I am mom to all in my home as well as the neighborhood! I am a free spirit....no one can tie me down.

Jesus said, "you will go work with your Dad". So I with GREAT trepidation on my own part, and yet trying so hard to trust God, I was pretty sure that he had made a huge mistake.....I mean I'm seriously like a monkey working a math problem!!!

The first few weeks were mentally exhausting. I had never seen ANY of these programs, these forms. I was doing simple clerical work and I felt like a pokey Joe. I told my Dad that my eye was pretty much on permanent twitch mode! Slowly I became familiar with the routine. I found out that I LOVE answering the phone, setting up appointments, making up tax folders, payroll....I actually enjoyed finding out where those little number puzzles led me!

I have been here over a year, and I just love it! I love that I get to see my Dad everyday, that I am part of something that is rewarding mentally for me. That I can take care of my youngest son who still needs me!

I am so very grateful for God's leading and working through my Dad and my dear friends who encouraged me to try something different!

Again....

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me; You will stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand will save me" Psalm 138:7

My go to verse during this time..... 

Jesus pulled the hands away from the side of my head....no more head squeezing! His word assured me that he was in control, that he knew what was best for me. I am so Thankful that he brought me through this and I know that he will continue to steer me through the rest of my life. I am reminded of the song "Jesus take the wheel" By Carrie Underwood

 "Jesus take the wheelTake it from my handsCause I can't do this on my ownI'm letting goSo give me one more chanceSave me from this road I'm onOh, Jesus take the wheel"

I pray I allow Jesus to continue to steer my life. Funny how things go so much smoother when HE who made Heaven and Earth is in control!

 Cherie Mancaruso lives in Torrance California with her husband of 26 years Glen and their two boys Joey 25, and Daniel 14. And is also Mom to many more!!!!

Post 2 He Has Dealt Bountifully With Me

When You Feel Like Saying "When" - He Has Dealt Bountifully With Me

I didn't know it, but it was the beginning of labor pains.

Literally.

                           ...and spiritually.

It was my husband's 27th birthday, and we'd made plans to celebrate as a family. We didn't get to. I hadn't been feeling well that day. Well into my first trimester with our third baby, I began to ache and cramp. and bleed. A call to the doctor confirmed our suspicion - the baby was probably gone. The next morning, before I could make it to the hospital, my body passed my sweet baby and we said goodbye to our very tiny (but perfectly formed, fearfully & wonderfully made!) little one.

I'd been following Jesus for seven years at that time, but my faith had not yet been tested by something so raw and heart wrenching. Up to that point, my faith was based not on God's goodness in all circumstances, but on all the blessings He'd afforded me.

For the next few weeks, hours were spent on my knees, closed away in our bedroom. Desperately crying out to the Lord. Searching the Psalms and trying to make sense of what happened. This became the Psalm I read out loud and praying through often:

{Psalm 13}
How long, O Lord?Will You forget me forever?How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul,having sorrow in my heart daily?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?Consider and hear me, O Lord my God;enlighten my eyes,lest I sleep the sleep of death;lest my enemy say,“I have prevailed against him”;lest those who trouble merejoice when I am moved...

I could not have known it at the time, but the loss of our little one was only the beginning of travail and trial - the labor pains of Christ being formed in me through suffering. It has been five years since the miscarriage, and circumstances have remained difficult while God has remained steadfast and sovereign.

My husband's business closed. We watched as his dream job that he worked and prayed so hard for just disintegrated. 

My oldest daughter needed major surgery, and has not healed as the doctors hope she would. and at this juncture, they're not confident that she will.

Our marriage of almost ten years is brittle. A while ago, we needed a break and Will went to stay with family in another state. Since he's been back, we have been trying to make it work, but it takes time and supernatural grace to undo almost a decade of mistakes, sinful attitudes, and bitter hurt, on both parts.

Our finances have been in shambles at best, non-existent at worst.

I absolutely believe that if we'd not gone through the agony of losing our baby, my heart would not have been prepared for the years and hurts that have come since. The Lord knew that my heart needed to see that He is the God who goes before, with, beside, and after me in suffering as He shows me how to be more like Jesus.

The pain of saying good-bye to our baby was more than my heart could handle. Yes! I will say that again:

God gives me more than I can handle. All of the time.

...because then and only then do I realize that my strength cannot come from within, only from the bottomless well of His grace and tenderest mercy. 

In those aching, at-the-end-of-myself moments, I had a sweet communion with God that I'd not had before. I'd never know the depths of His love like I did in the weeks and months afterward - displayed through His Word, through Will, through the girls, through our families, friends, and church community just showering us with prayer and kindness.

...it's the same depth of love that I plumbed when I heard

"She's not healing the way we thought she would. We're sorry, Mrs. Hunter."

"The worst case scenario in our marriage is not that I leave. The worst case is that I stay and we are miserable."

"Your bills have gone to collection because you have failed to pay."

"Mommy, what are we having for lunch? There's nothing in the cupboard to eat."

...and so many other times in between when the load was too heavy to bear.

But, hope of hopes!, Christ comes alongside and in compassion picks up all of my burdens, heaves them onto His own able shoulders, and bids me to just walk with Him. He reassures me that no matter what happens in my life, He will use it all to make much of Him as He grows me in His grace & knowledge.

That even if I fail and make a mess of it all a million times, He is faithful.

That He can take all of the hurts and create something eternally beautiful.

That He owes me nothing, but that He is always faithful to His promises and that everything He does, He does in a way that 'deals bountifully' with me.

I tend to forget often just how good and gracious the Lord is toward me - even when I perceive that everything about my life is just coming unhinged. When I read His Word, I am reminded that everything that happens to me is not by chance; it is orchestrated by a merciful and compassionate Father who is drawing others to Himself through my testimony and He is conforming me to the image of Jesus. And that means whatever happens, even when it seems too painful, is God dealing with me not just kindly, but bountifully. 

The last verses of Psalm 13 have become the refrain of my heart these last few years. When I began to feel pity or bitterness rise up in my heart, I sing this to remind myself:

Whatever you have been through or are going through, you can choose to take deep comfort in the truth that no hurt is wasted in God's economy. He can and will take all of the circumstances that are too much for your heart and use them for good - and trust Him that He is, even when you can't see it.

"Joseph said to [his brothers], “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive." {Genesis 50:19-20}

Blessed be the LORD God, the God of Israel, who only does wondrous things!

And blessed be His glorious name forever! And let the whole earth be filled with His glory.

Amen and amen. {Psalm 72:18-19}

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.

{Romans 8:28-29}

He has dealt bountifully with me,

for His glory!

~Lisha

Lisha has been married to Will for almost 10 years and has been a mom for almost 8 years to four children: three precious daughters here and a little one in Heaven! She blogs over at the 'Blish, hoping to lift high the name and grace of Jesus while encouraging others as she embraces her roles as wife, mom, homemaker, homeschooler, & redeemed and beloved daughter of the King. 

She'd love to connect with you! Find her at:

the 'Blish

the 'Blish Blog on Facebook

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Introduction When You Feel Like Saying "When"

Post 2 Jesus Take The Wheel 

When You Feel Like Saying "When"

Do you trust me? Look at all I have done in the past, trust me. You say that the trials keep coming like waves of the sea, you say that the heat keeps increasing like a furnace. What have I already done? Was I not already in the furnace with those Hebrew boys? Did they burn? Did they even smell like smoke? Were they singed? Trust me.

Moses was an example. Even though the desert looked bad. Even though it is hot there and everything looks hopeless and you are wondering Where is the food?, Where’s the water?  God is saying I got this –I've already walked through that desert.  I have already been there.  I know every rock and every piece of sand. I know where the water is hidden beneath the surface and I know the way out. Trust me.

These trials are a sacrifice. Like Abraham on the mountain. He has the boy –and the boy, he asks," Where’s the sacrifice father?" His father answered “The Lord will provide” even though Abraham's heart is crying “But it is you, my son”. By faith, Abraham offered his son as a sacrifice, his promised son. His laughter. His joy. And God stayed his hand and said,"Not so fast - Look there!", and he turns around to find a ram caught in the bushes. A perfect replacement.  

Called to sacrifice? Trust him. He has been there already. There is no desert he has not traversed, no wave he has not experienced. He has walked through it and won't let you walk it alone. He is saying, "Look, look at what I have already done! Remember. I've got this. Just trust me. We have a history. Look what I have already brought you through. Don't look at all of this around you, look at me and see what I have already done, and what I will do again if you trust me. If I was there for Abraham, I will be there for you. If I was there for Moses, I will be there for you. If I was there for those boys in the furnace when the fire was turned way up… there is no fire so hot, no desert so unbearable, no sacrifice so hard, that I won’t walk through it for you- Trust me- I've got this. Keep your eyes off the waves of what is going on around you. Look back and see what I've already done. I will never let you go.  Even when you feel like you’re all alone, don't believe it - - I am there. Keep your eyes on me.

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you." Deuteronomy 31: 8

Over the next few weeks, I have asked several guest writers share there stories with us of when they felt like saying "when" and how God brought them through and some of the things they have learned along the way. It's my prayer that these stories will encourage and bless you.

Post 1 He Has Dealt Bountifully With Me

Stepping Stones & Ocean Waves

Last week I was downloading some photos from the camera and found some that Brianna took when we went to visit Benji at the vet. I sat there and just cried. My mind just can't wrap around the fact that he is gone. Dogs are such amazing creatures. Maybe that goes for all animals...

For those of you that don't have pets or have never lost one picture a giant wave, but where you are standing it can't touch you. You can't get hurt but instead of standing there safe you take hold of your pet's paw and you step into that wave because you made a promise that no matter what you would be there for them because they were there for you. And everything in you screams that the wave is going to crush you. But slowly you creep forward with him, one step -one breath at a time. Until at some point, he no longer is beside you and you finally step out of the wave and a huge empty spot is left in your heart and life. Over the next weeks, anything and everything reminds you of him and more tears fall that you thought you had cried out.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Time is a slow healer, but eventually, as you take one stepping stone at a time the tears come less and less. So here is to our beloved pets that were and are there for us through it all, who when gone leave such a huge hole in our hearts. Who greet us at the door at night when we get home, or in the morning when our feet touch the floor. Who love us with all our faults and all our problems. Remind you of someone else? Maybe that's why He put them in our lives, to help us grow and to show us a little more of Him.