The Most Important Thing...

I've been thinking about just how to write this post with out hurting anyone for awhile... A few months ago I was at my grandmother's memorial service in California. Throughout the service family and close friends that knew my grandma while we lived in California stood and talked about her life.

She was a wonderful mother, she was always there, she helped me raise my kids, she was strong, she basically lived two lives one as a wife and a mother another as a widow, her door was always open, she treated my friends as one of the family, you walked in the door once and you weren't a friend you were family, everyone loved her, she loved big band music, she was always there with a joke, or some sort of good natured prank, she had a larger than life sweet tooth (I still think we should have brought ice cream to the memorial), she was a lady... The pastor came to the microphone and said something about the word he kept hearing through out was "Love".

Sure that was up there... but if they were trying to tell a stranger about her, the stranger wouldn't know the best part because they all missed it. Maybe its because they live hundreds of miles away and didn't get to see her often, What they all missed was, that she was an amazing Christian woman. She would spend time on her knees praying for each of her children and grandchildren by name, even when her hip caused her so much pain that she was crying, even when she had to ask everyone's names because she couldn't quite remember, That is how she would want to be remembered, as a Christian. Because that is who she was. She loved everyone like He loved her.

A pastor at a church we used to go told my mom once that every Sunday he looked for grandma because she always had the light of Christ on her. That is the best way I can think of to describe her. She was a Christian, pure and simple. Sure, she wasn't perfect, but there is only one person I know that is. I still remember how I told her I wanted to go on a missions trip when I graduate and she asked if she could come with me. I graduate in about a year and half... I wish we could have done it together.

Recently I was reading a devotional called Not A Fan (great book by the way. They have a Teen Student & Adult versions ). In the last Chapter it talked about a man named William Borden. After he passed away they found written in the back of his bible "No reserves. No retreat. No regrets." I think those six words describe her pretty well. Ok so she didn't make it big, she doesn't have a monument to her, she didn't end world hunger, or find the cure to cancer. But she did change peoples lives. she left everyone she met with a hug and a smile on their face.

The most important thing is... She was a great follower...

Today On Your Birthday Grandma We Remember You

 The house is still...  a piano plays softly on the radio. 

Ice and snow cover the ground outside. 

Lunch is finished and the dishes sit in the dish strainer. 

It's just another day... 

Its just another day, but its not just another day. It's your birthday! 

How do you wish someone a "Happy Birthday" in a place where there is no sadness? Memories slip through my mind... you are in them all. 

Decorating the tree, birthdays, Easter, 4th Of July, Ballet class, Thanksgiving, Choir performances, Church, New Years, Sledding, BBQ's, horse competition two summers ago, Bonfires with friends as you watched over us, swimming in the pool as you sat on the porch to make sure we were ok, gardening, holding baby animals that I brought home, chickens, turkeys, quail, rabbits, a puppy, a cat. Making cookies with you. car rides and musicals. So many good times... and you are there in every one.

Happy Birthday Grandma Cottage. 

Waiting To Exhale

It feels like I have been holding my breath for so long...

Like I have been trapped in never ending waves. Crashing... Crushing... Bending... Drowning...

My lungs burn... It's been a long year, a long couple of years. So many bad memories. So many bad days.

My feet touch the sand and it feels like a weight slightly lifts from my chest. The sunshine warms my skin, the breeze tugs my hair free from its braid. The waves wash across the sand wetting my feet and dragging the pain back as it recedes again.

My finger slips through the sand, a name, a year. A wave rolls in white and blue... erasing it like a canvas. With each new word the weight lifts a little more. Until finally I can let out my breath. I draw another one in and exhale...

The cold water chills my feet a little as I walk a long the water line picking up small bits of shell. All broken in someway or another but all beautiful.

Small chips of blue, larger pieces of white shells a few rose color pieces, a see-through piece, a larger gray one. My hand fills with them. The broken places worn smooth by the sand and the wave. They remind me of people... battered, broken, Holes where life was rough and ripped holes in our hearts. Do they realize how beautiful their brokenness is? I hold one up to the light and the sunlight pour though the holes and chipped areas... Do they know that? Do we know that? That through the broken places in us His light pours through. Shells are beautiful whole... but I think they are even more beautiful broken...

The Quilt Holes

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that was our life.

But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in everyday life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. 

I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. 

My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. 

Finally, the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose, each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me and nodded for me to rise. 

My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me. 

And now, I had to face the truth: My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. 

I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. 

Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image: the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. 

"Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through until there was more of Me than there was of you." 

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!

(Couldn't find the author but if this work is yours please let me know and I will give credit where credit is due)

I'll Be Back One Day | California Trip Day 8

I'll be back one day. Promise. 

It's early... our plane leaves in four or five hours. Between the bad service and the noisy neighbors this hotel has been lousy. We turned the car in a couple hours early along with "Gem" our trusty sidekick aka the Garmin that continually got us lost, and I do mean continually. We got breakfast at the Starbucks in the airport. And we sat... and we sat... and we watched the paramedics from Station 51 treating a lady who only spoke Spanish. Mrs. Cottage and I stared at each other trying not to laugh or say anything about that they are from the station from the 1970's TV show Emergency! By the way I love that show!!!! LOL! Hey, it's true... We finally board our 6 1/2 hour flight give or take a few minutes. The scenery (that I could see) was so beautiful! I kind of wish we could have driven back instead of fly.

That is if it weren't for the awesome flight crew! Mr. Cottage kept leaning across the isle to steal Mrs. Cottage's peanuts, The stewardess leaned over and asked Mrs. Cottage if he was bothering her and if she would like her to throw him off the plane. LOL! We were all laughing so hard, every time she would walk by she would have a quick quip to add like "I have my eye on you" or "I see you".

I was sad to see our flight land in Chicago... but I was very ready to use a "normal" restroom not the teeny tiny version like on the airplane, which were closed for most of the flight due to turbulence. When we finally touched down our connecting flight was supposed to be boarding (ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!). So here we are running across the airport to reach where the next flight is boarding... ummm yeah well... our connecting flight was delayed... So we just ran across what feels like half the Chicago airport for no reason. Hey at least we weren't the only ones that looked slightly crazy. And on the bright-side we got to stretch out some very sore muscles. Thirty minutes later we were on board for the last leg of the trip.

I have to say I was very happy to get off the plane when we touched down in Nashville at 10:00 PM, That is until we stepped outside. Nothing says "Home" quite like freezing weather... man I am so glad to be home... Yeah... right... :)  We stopped and picked up something for dinner and headed home. 

  

Faith was so happy to see us when we walked in.  She didn't quite know what to do with herself.

How Far Is Heaven? | California Trip Day 7

I can't believe we are going home tomorrow. It's the first thought that breaks through the unconsciousness of sleep. We settle in to the morning... getting dressed, putting on makeup, doing our hair, packing our suitcases and carry-on bags except for a few things we will need today. After we check in for our flight to get our seats we are going to take a bowl of soup to my 9 month pregnant cousin who has a cold before heading down to the beach, where aunt Debbie will meet us for dinner. 

I don't want to leave California... It's been so peaceful here. We've made so many wonderful memories on this trip. I hate to see it come to an end, but I guess all good things must. 

We drive down PCH (Pacific Coast Highway)  listening to Salvador's "How Far is Heaven" as the salty breeze kisses our skin and the sun plays in our hair. It's a dream we girls have had for years, I never thought that we would get to do it... but here we are. It's seems so surreal, like a dream... and if I speak... or blink it will be gone... I blink hesitantly, holding my breath... I still hear the seagulls, smell the salt, I open my eyes again and its all still here in majestic splendor. Home. 

My feet touch the sand, and I feel like I have wings. We walk toward the water slowly taking our time just to enjoy the sand. I can hear the water dawn a constant kind of roar. So peaceful... A teenage girl asks if I will take she and her friends picture. I quickly snap one on their cell phone for her and smile as she thanks me. I catch up with my family and we just stand there watching the waves come in and the sunlight playing across the water. This is another dream... watching the sunset in to the ocean. And God didn't disappoint.

He gave us a gorgeous sunset to finish off our time here in California...

Another lady asks if I can take a picture of her and two other girls that are with her. I snap a few photos for them as they explain that they are from Michigan and have never been to the beach before. I smile and tell them that its the first time in a long time for me too.

Now we sit and watch the splendor of his handy-work. So Stunning... 

... The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Psalms 19:1

Lord can you tell me?...How far is heaven?... Because standing right here, it sure feels awfully close... 

I want to cry walking back to the car... I'm not ready to leave... We drive a few blocks to Mario's and order dinner. Enchiladas! Mmmmm.... So delicious. Better than the any of the Mexican food back in Tennessee. From where I was sitting (I was sitting in our corner booth) I could see the little kid in the next booth, and so I kept him entertained by waving at him and playing Peek-a-boo with him. He was such a sweetie! And of course what would dinner be like if Aunt Debbie didn't surprise Mr. Cottage by ordering an Ice cream for his birthday? The waiters all came and sang Happy Birthday to him. It was so funny, we all laughed so hard. 

Mario's!

Keep up with our adventure! Day 6

I Left My Heart At Huntington Beach | California Trip Day 6 (Part 3)

 Welcome to Huntington California. This is where Mrs. Cottage grew up. Beautiful huh? Ruby's Diner sits at the end of the Huntington Beach Pier, it boasts 360 degree views of the ocean if lucky one can even see dolphins playing off the shore! Next time we will definitely be stopping here!

I think this is my favorite place we have been yet! I love the sand.. the sound of the waves... the water lapping at my feet... the salty breeze in my hair... the sunshine! It's like a little bit of heaven. As soon as our feet hit the sand, we were home. I guess Mr. Cottage has a group of mermaids on his hands.

During World War 2 Huntington Beach was used as a submarine lookout post, a heavy caliber machine gun was positioned at the end of the pier until the end of the war. Hunting Beach also has a one-mile long dog beach, the only one in Orange County. 

Many different kinds of fish can be caught off of Huntington Beach's 1,856-foot long pier including Croaker, Herring, Halibut. The US surf team adopted Huntington Beach as its official hometown in 2005. Huntington Beach also has a sister city, Anjo Japan.

If you happen to find yourselves in Huntington Beach you absolutely have to try Mario's! It's delicious! We went with a dear friend of Mrs. Cottage and here boyfriend for dinner after spending the afternoon at the beach.

I was so sad to leave the beach! Tonight we went back to my Aunt Debbie's and Uncle Doug's house. "Gem" (the Garmin) and "1 of 2" (Mr. Cottage's cellphone) we're as good as ever at getting us lost. Yes, we've given them names. :) 

Keep up with our adventures!  Day 6 (Part 2)