Up until I reached college, everything went exactly according to my plans. I got the toys that I wanted. I received all sorts of accolades and was admitted into all sorts of special programs. I was fortunate enough to be accepted into my first and only choice of college.
My plans were to study education and Spanish. When I finished college, I would have several job offers. Obviously, I would graciously accept the teaching job where I would utilize both of my majors and would be able to live in a cute little place overlooking the ocean. As an eighteen-year-old, I could not imagine spending my career with the littlest learners. I was adamant about wanting only upper elementary job offers. Since I was dreaming about my ideal future, I would have fallen in love and married my college sweetheart.
Little did I know then, but a series of redirections would prove over and again that I needed to trust God with my plans instead of going off on my own.
After college was over, I moved back to my hometown and into my childhood room. I never found my cute beach cottage. Nor do I want to live that close to the beach anymore.
In 2012, the NJ coast was battered by Hurricane Sandy. Many of the cute beach cottage homes that I once coveted have sustained significant damage. Had I moved where I desired, I could have lost everything.
It took me a long time to realize it, but there are many blessings to my current living situation. I was being protected.
Things didn’t end well with my college relationship. We were just too different. Those first few weeks, when I was single again, were rough, but God reminded me of how His love will never go away. There was a lot of change going on inside my heart, which led me to start writing.
It took the heartbreak and struggles of that year for me to realize just how love actually works. Now, I have found myself in an amazing, loving, fun relationship. I am continually thanking God for providing this connection that was better than I could have imagined. If I had insisted on continuing with one of my pigheaded attempts to find love, I never would have found the love of my life.
I ended up dropping my Spanish major. I can barely remember the language that I once was so passionate about. Because this language study had been a part of my identity for so long, it was rough figuring out where to go from there. There were many tears and painful meetings with advisors. I wasn’t completely sold on my new course of study, but I was still able to graduate on time.
One of the biggest surprises that God had in store for me involved my work. My dream was to work with the older kids and do all sorts of deep, intense research. Over and over, God reminded me to trust him. I relinquished control and pursued any kind of job that I could.
This is my fifth year working in preschool. It was the last place that I ever thought I would be. It has turned out to be the best job. I am thriving in an environment where a younger me thought she was not meant to be. Boy was I wrong.
Right now, I am wondering where are the next things God has in store for me. I may not have all the answers, but I know I can trust Him with my dreams and plans.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8
Leelee is blessed to find that the life she is living is far better than she could have imagined. She is a 30 year old lifelong Jersey girl who loves Jesus, her family, and the ocean. Her other favorites include polar bears, pink polka dots, sparkles, and her boyfriend.