When Is It Time...

When is it time to walk away… To burn the bridge, to watch the sparks fly upward- to let the flames dry the tears… To find the shattered remains of an already broken heart.

When do you pick up a shield and rebel against the pain others inflict so callously to fight the dragon spewing lies?

When do you run, and let the rain wash away the mud others have slung- and repair your tattered wings. 

I hold my breath, the wind calls to me, beckons me to take flight. To rise like a phoenix from the ashes. Beauty from pain, life from death. Yet guilt holds me here, as the thunder roars for me to run the lightning pleads for me to break away. Can I go? 

Can I leave them all behind, the dandelion wishes, and the skipping brook. Can I leave it all behind, the memories and promises bind my wrists demanding I stay, demanding that I shoulder my burden and keep moving. 

So many things I could have said, so many times I could have walked away without a backward glance. Maybe it’s me… perhaps I’m the real dragon. Perhaps I deserve these chains. I must be like a poison… destroying all I touch. Like a flame burning all that I find, all that dare come near. Cancer that sucks the life away. The ice I erect around my heart only melts letting the arrows find their mark. Why did I let the walls fall? Why did I trust yet again? Why must the pain suck the breath from my lungs?

If only my heart was titanium, impenetrable to attack. If only I could seal it off and refuse pain's knock upon my door. The pain of breaking away is nearly as bad as staying. My arms are tired, my legs weary, my eyes burn from too many tears … I can’t go on. 

The waves beg me to stop swimming, the fights all gone. Surrender it begs. I was a fool to believe, to believe you wanted me. I was a fool to believe I was safe. You asked me to stay and yet you despised me. 

The storm calls me to escape the dragon’s walls, to stare the dragon in the eye and raise my sword. But is it time? 

Can’t you see that my heart is already a wasteland? Must you crush the poppy who dared to push its head above the soil of a battlefield? Leave the wounded in peace, the stones have already been scattered, the walls torn down the gates ripped asunder, the tears long cried out. Courage is dead. My dreams hang on pikes along your city walls for the world to mock. There is nothing left and yet you return to finish a job already done. To make sure no sign of life returns. You think me a curse- I see it in your eyes. 

If I were a dragon your spears would ricochet off my scaly hide if I were a phoenix the flames wouldn’t burn. A spark to tinder, a flash across the sky. The smoke rises, the fire burns bright unable to be put out. It’s sparks fly upward…