Slow Fade - When You Have Lost The Ones You Love

You grab the phone, nervousness settles in your stomach but you punch the buttons anyway. The phone rings and you are sure it will go to the machine. It is a new number that they won't recognize it. "Hello"? The voice asks. For a moment, your voice catches and then you just rush in. You are not sure what to say but it pours out in a torrent of words. It is awkward. There is mostly uncomfortable silence on the other end of the phone and you know things will never be the same. The only thing to talk about is the weather and even that feels odd.

You make cards but never hear "Thank You". It is like they just disappear in the mailbox and head into a black hole of nothingness. Your Children's birthdays come and the mailbox stays empty. No phone calls, no greetings. Your children look up at you with teary eyes and ask why.

"Momma, why do we make all dees (these) cards for everyone and no one sends us a card?"

What do you do when the people who are supposed to love you, don't?

The bible says that-

• If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone Romans 12:18
• Let us, therefore, make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Romans 14:19
• Colossians 3:13 -15 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. 14 Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.…
• Ephesians 5:2 ...and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
• 1 John 3:10 This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God's child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.
• John 13:34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
• Romans 12:10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

This is hard for me - I hate conflict. I am a peacemaker. I look down at the teary eyes and cup my hands on their cheeks. 

I kiss their foreheads and say... because we Love them. 

I leave it at that- leave the rest to God...

They throw their little arms around me and squeeze. "I Love you, Momma!" Oh, I love them too -so very much!

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