It has been a long road, so many memories. You were my Matron of honor at my wedding, you helped me scrimp to make the evening special and beautiful. You were mom and dad for me after daddy died and we were best friends when I grew up.
When you would go visit other family members I would try not to call so they could have you all to themselves but I would find myself standing in an all too empty kitchen wishing I could just talk to you. Just share my day or cry on your shoulder.
Time has marched on and still we walk side by side year by year. The doctors can't say why- but these strokes don't stop. They continue to plague you and frighten us all as the slowly steal one memory at a time. With them has come change... my friend has gone away and left only the small frail shell of a woman I loved. Someday's you remember me, other you don't. Someday's you know you are at home others you are somewhere else. Somewhere I can not follow no matter how much I wish I could. Someday's I repeat things two-thousand times and on the two millionth and one time, I have to remind myself that to you it is only the first time.
In the quiet times, I wonder- how the brain is so amazing. How it picks and chooses...
"Do the chickens have a place to go out of the rain?"
"Do I have shoes?"
"What do I put on my feet?"...
I am tired.
Like the mother of a toddler that has to answer a string of "Why" questions that never end until night falls and she tucks her little questioner safely in bed and whispers exhausted prayers over them. Stealing away in the dark quiet moments to pray for the strength to finish the journey. To end the days with love, and honor...
as we walk this last leg of the journey together.
Read More of Mom's Journey
I posted on here yesterday but I guess it didn't work. This made me cry reading this. I wish I could help more but am so far away. I love you all so much. Please give Mom a big hug and kiss for me ok.
ReplyDeleteLove you too.
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