Hope Deferred Makes The Heart Sick


For as long as I can remember we have wanted more kids in the family. Through the years we've had several opportunities to adopt- but each one fell through.

The first one, a scared young girl. In the end, her mother took her to get an abortion. Several months later a pastor friend introduced us to a woman wanting to give her baby up for adoption. But she ended up getting an abortion. Around a year later we were introduced to another woman, but this one too ended in heartbreak for our family.




It is so hard to keep believing- to keep hoping when your hopes and dreams are continually dashed across the stones. All you wanted to do is curl in a ball and cry. You're angry, that you let your guard down and got hurt again. It stinks. So many emotions war for the spotlight. Days tick by... and your friends look at you wondering what the heck happened, while you mourn the lives of the children you never met but had already become part of your family. As time passes you begin to heal, you learn to keep taking baby steps, one day at a time. To keep the faith, that one day the desires of your heart will fill your arms.

Related Post: I Thought He Was My Isaac 

Ironically our dogs' name is Faith. She is our constant reminder, have faith... On our wall, there is a sign "Faith shines brightest in the dark". Keep believing, one day you will have the desires of your heart.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12...



23 comments:

  1. Faith is like oxygen i think. It's necessary for our survival! I wish you all the best to come!

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    1. You are so right! Thank you so much for your kind words.

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  2. Beautiful words that touched my aching soul. **hugs**

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  3. Touching. Blessings

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  4. ((hugs)) friend

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  5. My heart hurts for you and I pray that you keep looking to Christ for strength, comfort, peace and guidance. #thepeonyproject

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  6. keep on looking up to God for your hope!

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  7. I have so many friends struggling with infertility. I shared one of their stories awhile back on my blog (http://thejollymoments.com/2014/04/18/hope-deferred/). Although her story is different, I pray it encourages you to never lose hope or faith. May God continue to strengthen you during this time. #thepeonyproject

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  8. I'm sorry to hear that this process has not been a simple one for you. Have faith and believe that one day you will welcome a new child into your lives, and they will fill you up with love and be worth all the waiting and pain.

    love.

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    1. Thank you so much Laura. That means so much to me.

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  9. Oh how my heart breaks for you. Keep having faith. God loves you.

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  10. I'm sorry the road has not been easy. I pray you will hold onto Faith xo

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  11. we tried for sooo long to have a baby...i was married before, and throughout that marriage i was never able to conceive. i know realize it's me, even though tests never gave us a reason...but when i married my now husband, he gifted me with a son and a daughter through marriage. shortly after we were married, i became pregnant with our son. i call him my gift from God, my forgiveness child. people make comments about my love for him...i don't think it's any different than any mother's love for a child...but after all the years before him, and the years after him, when i could not conceive again, despite not using any type of birth control, he is special to my heart. we have 3 wonderful children, and i am content. i'm at peace. and two of these children gifted us with spouse and grandsons. i am happy. but i do understand the pain of not being able to conceive, and all the disappointment and waiting. especially when you have friends who have no problem conceiving!! God blessed me with 3 children in two different ways. i am content like i said, and do not have any regrets. i'm happy. and fulfilled. and blessed. thank you for sharing with us. i said it before, and will say it again, i'm so happy i found your blog! God is good...always, even when we do not understand His decisions. He is good.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing Debi. God is good. So glad you found us too. Love that I can call you friend.

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  12. Our son and wife adopted two girls from foster care. We love them, and forget that they are adopted. They are our heartbeat. God is so good. After 13 years, our daughter-in-law is having a baby. The long awaited dream and prayer will be born this month. For this child we have prayed.....thank you, Lord. God's timing is always perfect.

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    1. I am so excited for you guys and her. What a beautiful gift! Thank you so much for sharing. **hugs**

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